Another attempt at 100 miles, I didn't get there but I'm satisfied and proud of the effort. I gave it my all and managed to get to 100k despite running on a knee waiting for surgery. :(
Its been 8 weeks since I injured my knee preparing for this race. I took a hard fall on a downhill on the Appalachian Trail. I managed that 100 miler in Colorado but since then it really hadn't gotten much better. I could continue to do a bit of training, mostly uphill walks or jogs on the treadmill, knee strength training and the elliptical, but I haven't done any real running and knew I'd lost some fitness that I'd need to get through Grindstone. It was kindof crazy me entering it at all. Its a Masters Level race and a Hard Rock + Western States qualifier. I knew it was going to be over my head but I was hoping I could do it with enough training. The knee threw a big huge wrench into my plans. After Tuscazoar I knew I had to get an MRI done to get some answers but the best I could get was a week AFTER the Grindstone. I really had a meltdown feeling sorry for myself. I cried for hours and then slept for hours. All these pent up emotions that I burn off when I run came crashing down in a tidal wave, I cried not only about my knee but about all the sad hard things in my life. I realized how much I depend on running to get through the emotional burdens I carry, its such a release and I guess I realize now how much it helps prevent me from these emotional meltdowns. .
Jason my poor sweet husband, so worried about me, got on the phone and made a bunch of calls to find someone who could do an MRI sooner. Best they could do was Monday before this race. He was also able to get me to see an orthopedic doctor by Wednesday. I was so relieved I started looking at what I'd want to pack just in case I had good news, but prepared myself for the worst. As it turns out, diagnosis was a complex meniscus tear, some osteoarthritis, joint effusion and a sprained MCL. The doctor recommended if I wanted to be out of pain that I should have arthroscopic surgery to smooth out the meniscus tear. I told the doctor about my running and that I *have to run. I was in tears talking to her. . She got me set up with a hinged knee brace to prevent any further tearing and told me if I was careful and could manage the pain, I could still do my races wearing the brace. That was enough for me...set up to see an ortho surgeon in a few weeks and left the doctors happy. With the doctors ok, I hurriedly packed and got my drop bags ready. Honestly if the doctor saw the elevation profile of Grindstone, she might have suggested I not run it, haha.
The total elevation gain is around 23k elevation in 101 miles. There was a 6pm start on Friday night and Jason drove me the 2 hours to Swoope Virginia since he knew I probably wouldn't be able to walk or drive home haha.
Grindstone is a big race, several hundred runners. Being there with my knee brace on with all the other fit healthy runners ready to crush it, I definitely felt out of place. I found a company called gosleeves that makes knee sleeves with embedded k tape. I bought one hoping to support my knee, when they heard about running for veteran suicide awareness they gave me two sleeves. Fantastic compression gear with the tape, so much support, I decided to wear both of them because chances of arthritis in the other knee is pretty good. On top of the gosleeve I wore the orthos hinged brace to keep my knee in place over the rugged terrain. At worst I knew I could probably get in a marathon to 50 miles and it'd be a great overnight hike in the mountains. Better than sulking at home missing out!! A few weeks before I'd been out doing volunteer trail clearing so I was able to preview about 18 miles of the course and it seemed like it was only moderately hard... I didn't realize the miles I did were almost the only easy miles in the race haha, of course!
Temps were warm at the start, close to 80. I felt super sluggish leaving the start line for the loop around the lake on the road and in the grass at the BSA campground. Once I got into the woods onto the trail it was cooler and the ground was soft and I felt pretty confident. No trouble with my knee so far and my legs felt springy and solid with the braces on. After about 2 miles the terrain got very technical, the forest closed in really tight and the humidity skyrocketed. I could barely breath, my heart rate was through the roof, I was feeling nauseous and like I was going to faint. I talked to a few other runners who were also struggling. I realized that while the braces supported my knee, it took a little extra effort every step to run in them so that was a little exhausting as well. I met one guy who looked super fit, who had turned around at 4 miles and decided not to do the race at all in the heavy humidity.
It didn't take long till I was way in the back. The first descent down a dirt road felt good and I realized I was going to have to run harder than I should to make race cutoffs. Crossed a railroad track, and back into the woods it was time to get on a headlamp for the dark.
The first Aid Station they were nice, filling up my bottles but it was a bit scanty. I was expecting a bit more after being spoiled by the huge fare at the Brimstone races but I grabbed some fruit and headed up the first really big climb from the Falls Hollow AS up to Elliot's knob. The volunteers at this race were super nice, and I really cant imagine the logistics of trying to support such a remote race. I think with covid volunteer numbers were down, plus being in the very back of the runners all they had left by the time I got there felt like leftovers haha but I was really grateful for the help and encouragement that I got.
The next 4 miles was the section of trail that I cleared volunteering and I gotta say I did a great job. Other sections were overgrown and I was getting caught on branches but I'd made sure that path was totally clear. I was hoping the first AS might have a can of soda or bottled water I could carry but they didn't. Because I was heading into the night I thought I'd need just 1 water bottle but it was so hot and humid I knew hydration was going to be tougher, and my second bottle was in the drop bag at 36 miles. Refilled with water-liquid IV there and about 3 miles up the trail, I drank down my bottle and refilled in a creek because I had like 9.5 mi to the next aid station. The last mile up to Elliot's knob on a gravel road was ridiculously steep. and relentless, it just kept going and going. Like other steep climbs in races I've done but twice as long. It was dark now and the moon was bright, I was still sweating from the effort but the air was cooler at the top of the mountain. I passed a guy who was also struggling on the climb. We'd both stop to catch our breath then keep going, but he fell behind me. I doubt he made it past the next aid station. I also caught up to a second guy right at the top of the mountain where we have to touch the fence and can then descend. He also slowed down and fell behind me after the climb. After that I had the trail pretty much to myself.
The downside of Elliots knob for at least 2 miles was super technical. Mossy unstable rocks that made you slip everywhere. Was really worried abt my knee but just took it carefully. I made it to the 14 mi aid station, Dry Branch Gap. I was 20 minutes behind the soft cutoff at 10:45 pm and another runner in front of me was dropping the race there because she was also past the cutoff. Because it was a soft cutoff though, they said I could keep going if I wanted to so I took off for Dowells Draft at 22 miles. There was another runner dropping there. I don't remember the stretch too well except it was mostly runnable except for about 2 miles of really technical stuff. I did get really thirsty again not having enough fluid, that aid station also didn't have anything bottled I could carry. I hit another section of trail that I'd hiked and I remembered it being fairly easy. I guess it was on fresh legs haha, because after 22 miles and a couple thousand feet of elev gain the hills felt really steep. It was still fairly warm. I ran out of water and was so thirsty, I crossed a slightly dirtier creek and stopped for water. There were some floaties in it and I saw a salamander swim away, but I was in survival mode so drank a full bottle and refilled it. Dumb thing is I had water purification tablets but I knew Id lose minutes pulling them out so I just risked drinking it. Figured with all the rain lately it was *probably ok :-D
I was behind the cutoff @ 30 miles by 30 minutes but it was another soft cutoff so I could continue. Because I knew this section wasn't too technical I thought I could catch up. I passed 3 runners who were still moving forward but thinking there was no way to make the 6:30am cutoff, they were just walking it in. I still had hope so I pushed as hard as I could. The climb was really steep but not technical uphill but, the 4 -ish mile descent to the Little North Gap AS was extremely rocky. I was able to make up that half hour but I think I lost time here as well. There was some allergen in the air that made my eyes fill with goop so they got really blurry, especially my right eye. I kept rubbing it with a cloth to try and clear out the junk but I couldn't get rid of it. I tried running with the worse eye shut but that didn't work. It really messed up my depth perception of the rocks so I was tripping alot more than I should have been, especially with my knee. I was forced to slow down and that was frustrating. It lasted all night but somehow I managed to beat the hard cutoff at 36 miles by 20 minutes!
I took a few minutes there to go through my drop bag, get my extra water bottle, put on some pain cream, drink a couple ensure drinks. Ate some macaroni casserole which was really delicious and then headed up the steepest climb....but, to say this was steep...was an understatement. Literally 7 miles almost completely uphill. There were a few false summits where you could catch your breath, but then you were climbing again. It took me 6 hours to go 15 miles, 7 to the top and another 6.6 on the top of the mountain to the turnaround. There was the reddest sunrise behind me climbing out of the aid station but I didn't have time to pause for a picture so I'm glad someone else out there caught one! Really felt such a strong feeling of presence giving me determination to make this climb. Just felt close to the boys I'm running for as I thought of the mountains in their lives that they struggled to climb. It gave me strength to press on.
"When in times they are needed, such times they appear...
..."Come on, you sons of b******, do you want to live forever?"
About this time trying to get up the climb, the fast runners who were coming back from the turnaround point were flying down the mountain and I'd have to stop to get out of their way. It was distracting but gave me a second to catch my breath. Not only was this steep but there were lots of loose rocks. I was so relieved to finally get to the top and get the little hills out of the way to the turn around. All the runners I'd pass were so full of encouraging words."You got this" "Keep fighting" "looking strong" etc. The encouragement in the running community is so kind and real, I just love it. At the top you hit the fire road which is largely big sharp gravel, after a few miles on that my feet were really hurting. About this time nearing the 51 mile turnaround I met another runner and we started talking, coming in as the last runners.. He asked me about the Marines on my back and about Dexter and I told him how Dexter had developed Bipolar1 and schizophrenia before he took his life. The runner also has a son with bipolar so we hobbled along up the climb and talked about the frustrations and pain of having a mentally ill child and it was just a really wonderful conversation. I choked up a few times. I said do whatever you can to encourage him to be on his medication, and we talked about the struggles with that. We were both about 20 minutes behind the soft cutoff so we didn't hurry, just talked about our sons and other races we've done. It was his 4th attempt at Grindstone and he still wasn't going to finish. He decided to drop at the halfway. I was ready to quit too.Completely exhausted and hot, and I knew I couldn't make the 6pm cutoff, 5 1/2 hrs to get 15 miles. This runner though, I wont mention his name because privacy, especially sharing about his son, well he was just so awesome. He told me I looked strong and determined and that he thought I should continue and make it to 100k for my Marines and for Dexter. I mean...how could I drop out after that? I decided whether I made the 6pm cutoff at 65.5 miles or not, I would have gotten to 100k and I could be proud of that distance and the fact I didn't quit until they pulled me from the course.. So, I drank some ensure, refilled my bottles, rubbed on more pain cream and started uphill the asphalt road back to the horrid gravel fire road.
It was very hot out, mostly full sun and the hottest part of the day. Jason later said his car was reading 90 degrees. Somehow I managed to fuel and hydrate very well, eating baby applesauce and a capri sun about every hour plus 8 oz of electrolyte. Oh yeah, the guys at the aid station gave me a couple tangerines so I stuck them down my shirt cuz all my pockets were full, and they got me to the little aid station at the top of the mountain 6 miles away. I was the last runner out so they were mostly all packed up there. They let me drink the remaining mountain dew in the 2 liter bottles, filled up a grocery bag with cut bananas, and I had a delicious turkey and cheese sandwich there. I was done with the tangerines so the bag of bananas went down the shirt haha.
After this last aid station I knew it was all downhill so I hoped maybe I could make the cutoff. As I went along and made up that half hour, I started strategizing for how I'd get through the night if I made the cutoff. The thought was kindof miserable because I was hot and exhausted. Amazingly my knee really wasn't hurting much at all, though I could tell it was very swollen. That last descent was just killer on the quads. 7 miles straight down. Still a few of those false summits where you could run a bit, but then back to trying to hike down this steep trail full of rocks & rubble. As it got into late afternoon / early evening the gnats came out. I was prepared for them with bug spray wipes but it didn't help at all. They were buzzing in my eyes and ears so I was trying to descend the climb, wave gnats away and not screw up my knee by slipping. I passed one runner on the way down. He was just sitting looking absolutely sick and defeated. I asked if he needed anything or if I could help him and he said no, just waved me on. I totally got that feeling, the descent was quad shredding.
Just cant describe the terrain of this course and I had no time for pics, I swiped anothers pic of the rocks just to give an idea.
At last in the distance, I saw a guy in a baseball cap and knew it was Jason hiking up to see me. We tried to get in before the cutoff but I could only go so fast as it was still very steep and my toes were on fire crushed in my toe box and gingerly trying to protect my knee. Sadly, we got into the aid station 4 minutes past the cutoff. I didn't cry or feel upset at all, actually I was incredibly relieved. I was feeling drowsy and knew if I kept going overnight on that second night with no sleep, it would have been torturous. Felt like heaven sitting down and pulling off my shoes. One of the volunteers had home grown watermelon and I ate 3 slices! All things considered I felt proud and satisfied that I pulled out a 100k. This course honestly was way over my head, being a Western States and Hard Rock qualifying race so it felt really good that I'd done a decent job and if I had been running on a good knee, I really think I would have finished. It was an amazing experience and I've got an idea of things I need to do better to up my game. Of course first, will be to get this knee surgery out of the way.
One really embarrassing thing that happened was with the knee braces on, and my knee really swelling up, it was hard to squat to pee. Because of that I accidentally got pee on my shorts and by the time I finished running I stunk to high heaven. Haha. While Jason was retrieving my drop bags I managed to get a sponge bath in the car and put on clean clothes otherwise the drive home would have been unbearable. :-D Realities of an ultra or is it just me?
My favorite part of this race were the hours I ran up and down the more moderate portions in the dark to excellent music. I never felt alone or scared. At one point I heard coyotes howling but I just felt totally assured that I was safe and had angels protecting me. Listening and trying to feel close to Dexter I tried to find gratitude in the moment and thank God periodically for the chance to be out pushing my limits, and for a body that took me to these great experiences. to be honest though, trying to get through these miles was so difficult that I spent most of my time singing and staring at the ground trying to push through, no time to pick up heart rocks or even to take a picture or two. It took every second and my best level of concentration to not get more injured and to cover these miles. No out of body experiences or hallucinations for this race haha, I guess that's the special magic that happens mile 70-100. :-D Hopefully I will be back to that soon.
So grateful for Jason who really did his best getting my knee looked after and supporting my crazy efforts when he really would rather I was resting and recovering. <3 I am registered to run No Business 100 again, next Friday. Its a Western States qualifier this year. If I manage to get into surgery before then Ill skip it. If not Ill probably start the race and see how far I can get. I just cant see paying for a race then not at least attempting it! The worst you can do is fail, get injured or die. Haha.
(Was actually 65.5 miles but my gps lost a mile. )
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