Beast of the East 100. Tough rocky topped course with approx 19-20k elevation gain . I've finished this race twice in the past. With perfect winter weather, training on point, no sickness or injury, I felt very confident that I would finish strong. My business partner & friend Kevin Silvey was coming along to pace and crew. We were up and on the road for a fairly quick 2.5 hr drive to the start line. It was awesome to run into some friends and Froggy Mountain runners, Kristine, Charles and Scott. Felt really great, excited to run. My early miles were strong and I had a great day running. Kevin met me at every stop with hot food and hugs and support. Hot chicken sandwiches and steak and chicken fajitas fueled most of my race, and chocolate milk.
The aid stations were fantastic, the course markings less than ideal.
I'd had some difficult news leading up to the race that really shook my world and unsettled me, and with a sad lonely Christmas looming, struggling emotionally took a toll. I think my cortisol levels are sky high. Still, I managed a strong pace, and felt great until dark. I got hit with some serious nausea and spent most of the night trying to manage it along with sleepiness.
I had to take a 10 min nap around 3-4 am in the car. Kevin set a timer and the nap seemed to help. Was a really chilly night, into the 30's, but I managed my warmth well with layers and hot hands. As the sun rose I got a second wind and got control of my stomach.
Id fueled on that chocolate milk but realized too late that it had half the calories I expected so I think my trouble was that I was running at a huge calorie deficit. I scrounged some calories off the ground.
With about 20 miles to go I experienced some severe disorientation and even though I had Kevin and the race director on the phone, I took a wrong turn and got lost enough that I was going to miss the next cutoff, even though I had plenty of time to finish the race in the allotted times, the RD pretty much pulled me.
Kevin came to find me and rescued me from being lost, but it was the death of my #84 attempt on this course, finished at 80 miles. A bitter pill to swallow. I could have gone and run 20 more on my own but I just felt too defeated and went home with just a 100k medal that didn't even want. I was glad he was with me to ease the blow.
I had some good experiences encountering several Marines and others who wanted to talk about veterans, PTSD and healing through running. It was great also that Kevin encountered several Army Rangers that he was able to help and talk to, a sign from his nephew PFC Dillon Jutras. The Race Director, Richard, was freaking awesome in the aftermath, apologizing when he didnt need to, it was my mistake, he offered me free entry into next years race, he wants me to be the first 3x finisher. I will be back. 2024 has been the most difficult year of my life not including the first 2 years of losing Dexter. I feel like Job in some ways, sitting in the rubble of my old life, everything collapsed around me, trying to hold things together. I've had some incredible successes this year, Ouray 100 being the pinnacle, but also have had immense feelings of hurt, betrayal, disappointment, defeat, combined with grief, loss of living children, loss of Dexter, lost love. I thought with Dexters death, I would be impervious to any future pain. But, life has a way of refining us continually. I'm trying to employ the lessons of 100 milers into my personal life. When it gets too hard to move forward, buckle down & take one step at a time, accept the pain, breath, pray, and try to find that slender thread of hope, determination and strength that pulls you to the finish. My next race is New Year's Eve, will bring in 2025 with my dreams that I won't give up on. I am determined to get to my personal goal of 100 100s 4 Dexter this upcoming year, and to build Froggy Mountain into a successful business. 80 miles in memory of PFC James Dexter Morris, PFC Morgan Daly, LCpl Jake Crewson, Sgt Jacob Gray, SSgt Taylor Wilson and PFC Dillon Jutras (KIA)
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